Saturday, January 28, 2012

09. Perfect.

 I am a stranger in my own home.

There is this feeling I have had lately. Terrible and disturbing. It burns slowly, and hurts in a place I cannot describe. It is hatred, vengeance, spinning like a sword on a wheel.

I want to punish them. I want them to suffer as I do.

I want to tear through like a kamikaze pilot, dealing as much damage as I can before my life is taken from me.  To cull the evidence of my own imperfection.

I hate thier pretense. I hate their dishonesty.

Why can't they tell me why they hate me?

Why can't I forgive them?

Gaia, help me. Show me the way... show me how to fix this. How to make it all perfect again.

It's all broken and I don't know how to fix it.
It's all broken.
It's all ...broken.             

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